


The Interview

by PurpleArrowzandLeather



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: F/M, I was bored on a long drive, just an amusing idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-23 01:11:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15594918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleArrowzandLeather/pseuds/PurpleArrowzandLeather
Summary: Will Turner is interviewed about his time as a pirate. Nobody is quite sure what year it is anymore.





	The Interview

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know what to say other than the fact that I was very amused by the idea that he'd be the awkward-accented pirate in an interview.  
> Oh, and I don't own Disney and whoever else helped with these movies. :)  
> Just imagine the interviewer looking like Kevin from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, just younger and more awkward and with less Captain Holt.

          Will fiddles with the buckle on his chest, trying to get comfortable in the strait-back chair. He shifts, crossing one leg before starting over and trying it the opposite way. He hops a bit, the seat unusually hard and he glances around at the room. It's very reminiscent of a jail cell, except it's..... very, very clean, and very, very white. 

          A door opens and the new face smiles at him. It's a young man, probably early twenties. 

          "Hello. Um, William Turner is it?"

          Will scratches at his wrist. "Will is fine. Is this a prison cell?"

          "What? No, no it's not a prison cell. I'm just here to ask you a few questions."

          "So it's an interrogation, then?"

          "Nope, just questions."

          "Can I leave when I want to?"

          The man stumbles for a proper response. "Um, I.... no. Why? Are you uncomfortable?"

          "Yes, can I get a different chair, at least?"

          -

          The man, who Will now knows as 'Aaron' straightens his tie. "Are you ready?"

          Will huffs. "Well, since I can't leave, and I can't get a new chair, sure."

          "Good."

          He puts something down on the table in front of Will and clicks a button. Reels inside start to spin and Will leans forwards, picking up the curious device between two fingers. 

          "And what is this? Can you use it for something? Do it work for fishing? There's spools, but I can't see what for."

          "No, I- Wait!"

          It clacks as Will knocks it against the table, proceeding to lightly bite it. "Ugh. Worthless as both currency and a fishing weight. What is this even made out of?" he tries to look through it. "Nope."

          Aaron turns and stares straight into the camera.

          -

          A throat clears and there's a rustling as Aaron sits down. Will looks at him as he pulls the chair closer to the table and fiddles with his tie. Will pulls a dagger from his boot and starts to clean his nails.

          "So, William, did you grow up a pirate?"

          Will turns, raising a quizzical brow. "No. Not at all. Well, I suppose I was going to, but no."

          "Why not?"

          Will shakes his head, smiling. "I don't see how that's any of your business."

          "I'm just curious as to how you came to do this kind of work."

          "What work? I don't possibly know what kind of work you would be talking about." 

          "Um, piracy, William."

          Will scoffs. "Look, first of all, it's Will. Second, you have no idea what you're talking about."

          Aaron tries for a smile. "I know that you're not going to make this easy for me. So, I'm just going to go and get something."

          "Something, like what?" 

          "Like rum. I'll just be right back."

          Will raises a brow again, staring at the camera until Aaron leaves. "And what clever little contraption might you be?" He gets up from his seat, peering into the lens from so close that it goes out of focus. "Are you a spyglass of sorts, little bobbin?"

          He investigates thoroughly, leaving the shot a few times as he circles. He hears footsteps coming back and sits back down.

          Aaron opens the door, flask in hand. "Ah, still here, I see."

          "Just curious as to what's going on is all."

          "Well, that's good news for you, because I brought some rum."

          Will snags the flask before he has the chance to offer it. He takes a swig, spitting it out on the floor. "That's hardly rum. Tastes more like a cheap brandy."

          Aaron looks at the camera again, sighing.

          -

          "So, did you choose to be a pirate, Will?"

          "Heavens no. I was dragged into being a pirate. Kicking and screaming, might I add." Will smiles lazily.

          "And how did that happen?"

          "Well, it all kind of started when my father's ship was attacked. I floated away on a piece of wood from our ship and was found by Elizabeth Swan. Beautiful woman, now."

          "Right, but your father-"

          "She took the piece of gold from me and wore it into adulthood!" Will laughs, sloshing the rum. "That's what started the whole mess, you know? Gold. It's just so pretty though. See, and I didn't know that I had a piece of gold that belonged to my father. Bill Turner. That was all of their problem, you know! Gold! So greedy for shiny things. So, Elizabeth pretends to be the daughter of ol' Bootstrap and they try to put it back and break the curse. The problem that she wasn't blood! So, in all reality, I jus' have no idea what she was doing. She has terrible, terrible impulse control. I mean, I have never seen someone need rescue so often. Then Jack comes, and steal some gold, which really came in handy when Barbossa stabbed him in the chest. Then he pulled out the gold and did that finger trick that people used to do with um, with ribbons." He pauses, looking up at the ceiling. "I was never a pirate for the gold, or even the rum. Still pretty sure this isn't rum."

          "Curse?"Aaron tries to interrupt, but Will is rolling now.

          "So, Jack. It's all Jack's fault. Always is. His ship, the _Black Pearl_ , it's called. He was kicked off of his ship more times than I can count. Barbossa was involved every time, as far as I know anyway. But he got kicked off and I have no idea what happened, but the next thing we knew, he was on the dock, the dinghy sinking to the ocean floor. Me, I was completely oblivious. I was an apprentice to a swordsmith, at the time. Wellll," he slurs "more like I did all the work and he slept. I'm fairly certain he never made a good sword in his life. Me on the other hand, very skilled." he points to himself, smiling. "Very skilled."

          -

          When the camera turns back on, Will is fixing his ponytail, styling it with a small wooden comb. "So, the thing about Jack is that, you could think that he's the worst pirate ever. You could think he's the best. He will prove you wrong, every time. Doesn't matter which."

          "Does he have a plan?"

          "No. Never. That's probably the best and the worst part about him is that, he'll get tied up, caught, any number of things, and you think to yourself, 'We're goners. That's it.', but then Jack will just pull this idea out of his hat willy-nilly and it works and then anybody watching thinks that he must have had a plan all along. He doesn't, not ever. He'll find a way out of any situation, mostly unscathed. It's the most horrible thing I've ever seen."

          "And why is that?"

          " _No one_ comes out unscathed. No one, except for Jack. I mean, just look at me. I put my heart in a box just to survive, and my behemoth of a ship connects me to the soul world. I mean, just look how that worked out for Davy Jones! I have never seen a more ugly man in my entire life. It wouldn't have been so bad if he'd just done his job."

          "Piracy?"

          "No. Souls, Aaron. Souls. We're in charge of making sure they make it to the other side of the looking glass."

          Aaron's brow raises. "Right."

          "And so, the funny part is, it was all Jack's fault. I mean, it  _always_ comes down to Jack, doesn't it? So, Jack dies. I... maybe not. I'm still not clear on if he died or not, but what I do know is that he kissed Elizabeth. I didn't know what to think. I mean, did she love me, did she love him? I mean, I guess what happened next answered that, when she chained him to the mast and then let him get eaten by the huge fish-thing. I think it might have been a kraken. No joke." he shrugs. "But, old Jack just couldn't stay down. Noooo. Of course we needed him, so we had to go to Davy Jones' Locker and get him, where he was stuck with the Black Pearl." he huffs out a laugh. "I suppose the captain really did go down with the ship."

          "So how does Davy Jones fit into all this?"

          "Well, it's his locker, you see. Where things that- I don't know. Just a really weird place. I have no idea what happened, officially. We went in, got Jack, and sailed out on the  _Pearl._ Our ship was completely wrecked, just-" he splays his fingers, lightly pounding the table and letting out a whoosh of air. "-wrecked."

          "So, Davy Jones. Did he have to put his heart in a box?"

          "Yes. Absolutely. It's funny, because he gave it to Calypso, and  _that_ \- that was a spectacular sort of failure. She just, *pff* vanished into thin air the moment he left the island. Makes me glad for Elizabeth. She'll pull out the heart. Talk to it. You know, just the general letting me know she's still there. I mean, on days when our son is horribly, horribly obnoxious, I think it's a wonder that she doesn't just grab onto the heart and squeeze it. Just to blame me for his pig-headedness."

          "And, what would happen if she crushed that heart?"

          Will's eyes widen. "Why do you want to know?"

          "Just curious."

          "Well, it would hurt, and I would most certainly die. It would be awful."

          -

          "So, your ship?"

          "The  _Flying Duchmann._ Yeah. What about it?"

          "How does that work?"

          "Well, it's kind of run by the undead, you know? So, there's really no issue with being underwater for long, long, long periods of time."

          "How long?"

          "Ten years. Then the boat flips over and we return to the land of the living."

          "Turns over?"

          "Well, not really flips. Cause' actually what happens is that the  _Flying Duchmann_ runs between worlds for just long enough to return once every ten years, unless of course you do it like Davy Jones did, and then you just stay alive forever with a really horrible face and a really scary crew who look like trees and awful sea monsters. Me, I think I'll just stick with the barnacles on the bottom of the boat. A lot more sanitary that a crew of undead, I think."

          "Sanitary, as a pirate?"

          "Well, just because we don't bathe all the time doesn't mean we can't clean up. We do what's possible, and a lot of times, it's not much. We aren't as much of a fan of infection as people seem to think. We aren't crazy." he tilts his head. "I take that back. We are, but nonesomuch as Jack."

          "But you don't have to worry about it?"

          "No. perfectly safe, so long as Elizabeth doesn't decide to kill me someday. As I said before. Self-control is not her strong suit."

          "And what about you?"

          "Oh, I'm much better."

                   * _Will rushes forward and does something impulsive. Jack looks at the camera like it's the Office. "Honestly, it's the honest ones you've got to watch out for because you can never tell when they're about to do something incredibly.... stupid._ _"_ *

          "And Jack?"

          "Jack is the worst."

                    * _Jack swings around on a mini-crane for a rowboat and lands in a cart of hay._ *

          "The worst."

                     _*Will pushes off a rockface, swinging back to hit Jack in the face because they're both tied to a bridge twenty feet above their heads with nothing but river about a thousand feet below._ *

          "Just.... awful."

          "So, how often do you see Jack now?"

          "Almost never. I come back once every ten years, and I'm glad for it. Never get involved in Jack's problems."

          "But your son did."

          "Of course he did." Will sighs, rolling his eyes. "He's a Turner. Born for trouble."

          Aaron smiles indulgently. "And?"

          "And? And nothing. That's it. That is literally his only problem."

          "What about his illegal activities?"

          "No idea what you're talking about. You'll get nothing more. I've told you all that I ever will."

          The next fifteen minutes of clip are just Will sitting in his chair, resolutely silent. Aaron sighs. "Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Turner. You can go."

          "Where, exactly, am I?"

          Aaron opens his mouth to answer, but there's a knock at the door and then a familiar face pokes his head inside. "Come on, mate. We gotta run. The  _Duchmann_ won't wait long."

          "Jack!" Will shouts, springing from his seat and running for the door. 

          "We've come..." he slurs, stumbling with a grin. "to your dashing rescue, and we brought the rum."

          "Are you drunk?"

          "Of course we're drunk. So is Eliz.....izabeth." he laughs brightly, the beads in his hair clicking as he tilts his head. "So is your son!"

          Jack leads the way, splashing rum on the floor as he runs. They duck a couple of men in black clothes, wearing some sort of black lens over their eyes and turn a tight corner. The  _Duchmann_ is just around the corner, he can feel it. Jack leaps from a window, whooping on the way down. Will jumps out after him, landing on the deck of the  _Duchmann_ and getting caught by his first mate as he tumbles. 

          The boat starts to turn over and Will looks down at the street. "That's not water, Jack!"

          "Doesn't matter!" he hoots.

          Will shuts his eyes, awaiting impact. "I'm so gonna regret this."

          Elizabeth comes up to him, her hair floating above her head as water fills the deck and suddenly fills the whole ship. She giggles. "I told you I would be here, Will Turner."

          "I believe you."

          Their son comes and jumps on Jack's back as he steers and Will feels his ears pop as they come back around on the other side. Both his family and his crew collapse in fits of giggles as the water clears and Will shakes his head. His usually-stoic first mate is almost hysteric with laughter.

          "Hey Jack?" Will calls.

          "Yess, dear William?" he busts out laughing again.

          "I hate you."


End file.
